The “baby blues” are a temporary state of heightened emotions that effect about half of mew mothers. This usually peaks 3-5 days after giving birth and can last for about 2 weeks. Indications of baby blues include, crying easily, difficulty sleeping, irritability, sadness and edginess. Baby blues are not considered an illness, and do not get in the way of a woman’s ability to care for her baby. The tendency to develop postpartum blues is not connected to a previous mental illness and is not brought on by stress. Still, stress and a history of depression may influence whether the blues go on to become major depression.

On the other hand, postpartum depression is a serious illness, and it requires the mother to get help.  Postpartum depression occurs in about 10-20% of women who have recently given birth.  It usually occurs within a few months of delivery, but it can develop anytime in the first year.  Risk factors include previous major depression, severe stress, inadequate social support, and previous premenstrual dysphoric disorder (a severe form of PMS).

Symptoms can include depressed mood, tearfulness, inability to enjoy pleasurable activities, difficulty sleeping, low energy, change in appetite, suicidal thoughts, feelings of inadequacy as a parent, and impaired concentration.  A diagnosis is made when these symptoms are present for a least a week.  Unlike baby blues these symptoms do not resolve on their own, and they do interfere with the ability to function.

If you experience postpartum depression, you may worry about the baby’s health and well-being. You may have negative thoughts about the baby and fears about harming the child (although women who have these thoughts rarely act on them). Postpartum depression  impedes a woman’s ability to care for her baby, and if left untreated can create a very dangerous situation for mother and child.  If you suspect that you or a loved one has postpartum depression seek professional help.

In addition, the likelihood of relapse increases with every subsequent episode.  This damage can cause problems with memory, planning, prioritizing and decision making.

People who struggle with depression often spend a great deal of time ruminating, which starts as trying to figure things out, but ends in triggering the fear responses in the brain.  This causes the depressed person to remain stuck and hopeless.  Plus, this pattern of negative thought becomes more and more solidified the longer it continues.

Here’s the good news…the damage can be undone.

Below, I’ve outlined several strategies that can help begin to reverse the damage that has already been done. Remember that healing comes over a period of time with daily effort.

1. Fish oil:  Research shows that taking fish oil can improve the mood and stave off repeated episodes of depression.  This is because low levels of Omega-3 Fatty Acids in the system are connected with many mental disorders, including depression.   Dr. Andrew Weil recommends taking between two and four grams of omega-3 fatty acids daily with a meal for optimal results.  Its Important that the product you choose be guaranteed to be free of harmful contaminants.  If you are a vegetarian omega-3s can be found abundantly in eggs and flax seed.  Of course, check with your doctor before adding this or any supplement to your diet.
2. Breath:  When we are tense or anxious our breath has a tendency to be short and shallow.  This sends a danger message to the brain, adrenaline is released, and we become more tense, more anxious, more likely to increase our depression.  To counter this, try spending some time each day focusing on your breath.  Breathe in and out slowly and deeply.  When you find your mind beginning to wander just return it to the breath…again and again.  Doing this for just 3 minutes a day can begin to greatly increase your overall feeling of relaxed calm.
3. Talk:  Studies show that we get as much of an endorphin boost from talking as we can from sex.  When problems live in our heads they often feel much more overwhelming.  Getting them out in the open is often a huge relief.  So when you feel yourself starting to worry or ruminate, call a friend, call a family member or call a professional.
4. Walk:  I know you’ve heard about the benefits of exercise again and again, but that is because it’s true.  Thirty minutes of cardiovascular exercise most days is as effective as antidepressant medications for treating depression.  If you have never exercised before maybe 5 minutes is all you can manage at first, maybe fewer.  Do what you can do, and remember it’s the action that precedes the feeling.  You may not feel like working out, but you will likely feel better once you do it.  Please check with your doctor to get the ok before beginning an exercise routine.
5. Yoga:  Like exercise, the benefits of yoga are too many to list here.  But for people who struggle with depression, yoga gets you out of your head and into the moment.  You focus on where you hold tension in your body, and you work to let it go.  Yoga also offers a profound sense of relaxation and well-being particularly when practiced over time.  Again, check with your doctor before beginning a new exercise routine.
6. Write:  Keep a journal of your emotions.  Take note of how you feel several times throughout the day.  This will help you pay attention to what triggers your emotions, and how often your emotions fluctuate during the day.  Emotions always come from somewhere.  When you learn to pay attention to you these triggers you can have more control over your reactions.
7. Seek Help:  If doing this on your own feels overwhelming, its important that you seek out a qualified therapist to help you.  Feel free to contact me, 917-721-2257 or rebekah@rebekahshackney.com  Together we can undo the damage that depression has done.

Of course, not taking it personally is easier said than done. So the real question is how not to take it personally? Here some tips:

Practice, practice, practice. Remind yourself everyday that this is a developmental phase not a personal assault on you…no matter how good he or she gets a pushing your buttons.

Vent. Just because it’s not personal does not mean it’s not uncomfortable. Talk to your partner, talk to a family member, talk to a friend or talk to a therapist to help put things in perspective.

Use what he or she gives you. The pain that you are feeling can inform you about what is going on within your teen’s mind. That rage, hopelessness, frustration, fear, etc. will give you a picture of the turmoil your teen is feeling. Hopefully, this will allow you to be more empathetic and less hurt or angry.

Don’t engage. When your teen starts to yell, say hurtful things, be disrespectful don’t reciprocate. You don’t want to say something you will regret.

Consequences. There should be consequence for negative (and positive) behavior. This helps to empower you as a parent and it helps your teen know what to expect. (see my tips on creating consequences for assistance in this area).

Seek help. If your teen’s outburst seem unusually frequent or intense. If his or her behavior has changed significantly in a short amount of time. If you’ve noticed changes in eating or sleeping habits, decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities, change in friends, increase isolation, etc. Trust your instincts and seek professional help.